I meant to start this on the 1st day of 2014. Unfortunately I forgot. So here I am starting it now. I've never been very good at writing journals or diaries but I want to record my life from this year on. I know the time for my life to be read will come one day and I want to give as much detail as I can for those who want to know me and my life story. I won't go into details of my years before now, just yet. That will be done at a much later time.
Today. I woke up with a headache. It was bright a sunny. I woke up with last night on my mind. It was horrible, last night. I broke down and cried because of frustrations I couldn't control. I was mad at myself for letting that happen. It's only the 4th day of the new year and already I'm crying, frustrated and upset. But now, writing this, I am happy, relieved, jubilated, and content. The landlord, Mr. Wu, came over today. I had to give him $50 because yesterday went wrong and my mother wasn't able to get her check. She owed him $70, but he will receive the $20 when we can give it to him. Had I had it, I would have gave it to him. My mom doesn't want me helping out with financial problems because I'm her child, but really I'm 22 years old and still am fully dependent on my parents. I want to help out as much as I can. I want to become independent. I want my own. So I'm helping out. Plus it gives a break on my mom. At least, I pray it does.
Dee was frustrated yesterday because the same problem: we still have our financial struggles and in the end, it all falls on our mom. He wants to help out like I can, with money but I told him today, he's only 16. He doesn't need to worry about that. Granted when I was his age, I worried, stressed, and cried just like he did yesterday when I couldn't help my mom. But his day will come and he will make her very very proud. So will I.
My dad.....he's a daily challenge for all of us. While I love him, he is holding us back. I finally admitted to my mom today, well I hinted, that since he is sick and has trouble doing things on his own...we should put him in a home. If he doesn't want to do that, then that is his decision. He is so stubborn. When we move to Atlanta, and I am moving there within the next two years, if God see's me fit for the move, he already said that he doesn't want to go with us. So he either needs to move back to California with his side of the family or move into a home. I would worry daily about him if he lived by himself. He's very sick now. Forgetting things minutes after they happen. He still has his seizures, he has chest pains, leg pains, I'm afraid he has already had a minor stroke and he seems to be developing Alzheimer disease. I would like him to be taken care of.
The firs three days have been a little down. Which I have to change immediately. Literally before 12:00pm hit on Dec. 31st, 2013, I was positive, happy, feeling great. Once it hit, everything seemed to change. I got tired, lazy, a little down, and a bit moody. I didn't like it at all and I started to worry that my whole year would be like this. But I've told myself, am still am, that a few days will NOT control my entire year. It's only if I believe it and I dont. I'm going to progress this year and flourish. No matter how big or small I'm doing SOMETHING positive and great that will impact my life for the better. I will be a better, healthier, more confident person as well. Financially, things are already looking better. I actually havent a single hint of worry financially and it will stay that way from here on out. I will start selling my cookies, and gain at least 5 loyal costumers this year as well. That is my goal.
I want so much in life, material wise and just mentally. I want richness. In everything. Clothes, accessories, books, traveling, I want so much. That is why I'm changing my attitude, save for the damn near impossible moods of PMS, and am having a damn good year and will hopefully brighten those around me.
___
I came home and took a nap. I was so tired. I had Panera Bread for lunch. It was really good! I had the Chicken Cobb with Avocado salad with bread on the side. Delish! I wanted to watch a few movies tonight but I slept for so long. It's only 7:27pm but I'm still tired. I might just fall asleep again. I am beginning to feel hungry so I will go make some dinner!
Today. I woke up with a headache. It was bright a sunny. I woke up with last night on my mind. It was horrible, last night. I broke down and cried because of frustrations I couldn't control. I was mad at myself for letting that happen. It's only the 4th day of the new year and already I'm crying, frustrated and upset. But now, writing this, I am happy, relieved, jubilated, and content. The landlord, Mr. Wu, came over today. I had to give him $50 because yesterday went wrong and my mother wasn't able to get her check. She owed him $70, but he will receive the $20 when we can give it to him. Had I had it, I would have gave it to him. My mom doesn't want me helping out with financial problems because I'm her child, but really I'm 22 years old and still am fully dependent on my parents. I want to help out as much as I can. I want to become independent. I want my own. So I'm helping out. Plus it gives a break on my mom. At least, I pray it does.
Dee was frustrated yesterday because the same problem: we still have our financial struggles and in the end, it all falls on our mom. He wants to help out like I can, with money but I told him today, he's only 16. He doesn't need to worry about that. Granted when I was his age, I worried, stressed, and cried just like he did yesterday when I couldn't help my mom. But his day will come and he will make her very very proud. So will I.
My dad.....he's a daily challenge for all of us. While I love him, he is holding us back. I finally admitted to my mom today, well I hinted, that since he is sick and has trouble doing things on his own...we should put him in a home. If he doesn't want to do that, then that is his decision. He is so stubborn. When we move to Atlanta, and I am moving there within the next two years, if God see's me fit for the move, he already said that he doesn't want to go with us. So he either needs to move back to California with his side of the family or move into a home. I would worry daily about him if he lived by himself. He's very sick now. Forgetting things minutes after they happen. He still has his seizures, he has chest pains, leg pains, I'm afraid he has already had a minor stroke and he seems to be developing Alzheimer disease. I would like him to be taken care of.
The firs three days have been a little down. Which I have to change immediately. Literally before 12:00pm hit on Dec. 31st, 2013, I was positive, happy, feeling great. Once it hit, everything seemed to change. I got tired, lazy, a little down, and a bit moody. I didn't like it at all and I started to worry that my whole year would be like this. But I've told myself, am still am, that a few days will NOT control my entire year. It's only if I believe it and I dont. I'm going to progress this year and flourish. No matter how big or small I'm doing SOMETHING positive and great that will impact my life for the better. I will be a better, healthier, more confident person as well. Financially, things are already looking better. I actually havent a single hint of worry financially and it will stay that way from here on out. I will start selling my cookies, and gain at least 5 loyal costumers this year as well. That is my goal.
I want so much in life, material wise and just mentally. I want richness. In everything. Clothes, accessories, books, traveling, I want so much. That is why I'm changing my attitude, save for the damn near impossible moods of PMS, and am having a damn good year and will hopefully brighten those around me.
___
I came home and took a nap. I was so tired. I had Panera Bread for lunch. It was really good! I had the Chicken Cobb with Avocado salad with bread on the side. Delish! I wanted to watch a few movies tonight but I slept for so long. It's only 7:27pm but I'm still tired. I might just fall asleep again. I am beginning to feel hungry so I will go make some dinner!
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